Why am I here, rather why are you here? No, really, the reason that I am here is because I want something new, something different. It was something that I desired deep down in my crawl space. I realized that there was something missing in my life. However, I was unable to put my finger on what it was. I think I have tried to find it through occupying my time with school, work, friends, escapes of sorts, and the like. BUT after doing all of those things I realized that not a thing changed! After I had occupied all of my time doing things, once I returned home, I still felt that void, or emptiness even. The thing that I feel was missing was peace and happiness. I thought it was something that people just have, something innate…but not me. During the experiences that I have had, I have realized that happiness is an intentional, purpose driven choice. It is something that you have to intend to do every single day, sometimes every hour, and sometimes, every minute.
I have pretty much spent my entire professional life helping those who are less fortunate than myself. I’ve worked with children that are self-injurious and developmentally disabled, juvenile sex offenders, those with major mental illness in hospital settings, and finally with young adults that are returning citizens. I enjoy the work of helping others, and I realize more and more that my purpose is to be of service to others, more so to those that may not be able to help themselves. In these capacities, I believe that I had to be positive, encouraging, and empowering. However, in doing this daily, I struggled with my own personal happiness.
How Did I Get Here?
I have been journaling for as long as I can remember, I have written in diaries, online, and wanted to try blogging to get some feedback. This journey is not one that is singular. Through observation and just talking with others, I have realized that there are so many people who struggle with negative thoughts, self-doubt, and being happy. In my opinion, I think that many people (hey even me) have mastered the art of somehow hiding the brokenness that they feel, or the negativity that they experience internally. It is like some special skill, to hide everything from everyone. In reality though, you can’t hide from yourself.
What Do I Want To Do Here?
I want to share my journey from being the gal with the barely half empty cracked glass to the woman whose glass is overflowing! Whoop! Now, I know that this process won’t always be crazy easy, but I truly believe that all of the work that is put forth will be rewarded!
Come and Live in Light with me. Let me know your struggles and we can conquer them together!